XEROPITTURA

Post-Elitism And Confrontation

One of the only things my father has admited to hate about me is how I do things without telling anyone. And

that specific trait of mine has lead many fights at home, including when I decided to just drop out of high-school.

But like, how would you expect yourself to see the world once you realize there's no real consequences to any

thing you do? That's what we're gonna talk about in this article.

The very first "bad bad" thing I've done at school was say the word fart in the middle of the class. I remember

my pre-school teacher raised her eyebrows like I murdered someone point blank and then screamed at me to sit in

front of the class because of how bad I was misbehaving. Every other kid from my classroom was scared, but me?

I don't even remember feeling bad about it. I had fun looking at how the teacher was writing, looking at the

corridor to see the kids... And so on. But, notice how I didn't mention trauma or shame. I didn't feel it.

I could say that for my whole life, I've done things that not only broke the status quo, but also challenged

people's intellect enough that I found myself in the school's office at least once a week for breaking a rule.

Those rules were so non-sense in my personal view that I can't even list one of these same rules for you.

In my very first school, many teachers used to complain to my dad about how I wouldn't want to do the lessons,

write anything, talk to other people, and just "disrespect the hierarchy" in a dangerous way. My dad, being the

man he was, never fought me or beat me up until I was feeling sorry, but he rather talked to me and sometimes

said he'd want me out of his house by the age of 18. Wich I never forgot about because I wanted to prove that

he was wrong anyways, and living anywhere else wouldn't fix my "punk behaviour".

Most of these conversations I had with my father usually started when I refused to write things on my notebook,

leading my teachers to give me no points, then leading me to have low grades in the normal curricular tests...

You got it. I seemed to just not care about my only obligation and for some reason it disturbed both the people

who were teachers and didn't know how to speak correctly and my father, who used to do the very same things I

was doing at the time, without realizing that my biggest problem was the real lack of apparent consequences and

importance in general. I mean, how are you gonna tell 8-year old me that learning the alphabet is more important

than knowing how to pay bills and working? Yeah, I was thinking about THAT when kids my age were playing legos.

And that's where the real confrontations started: I had my father, who started working early in life and then

doing amazing things in Sao Paulo in one side, and in the other one, I had teachers who told me that writing

specific words in a notebook would make me someone important. What concept would you believe to be true? So of

course, I spent my whole childhood talking back to the teachers and colleagues who were too afraid of taking

F's. One of the earliest memories I had about it happened when a japanese colleague of mine cried because she

got an A instead of an A+, all that while I got a B- and felt like I did something incredible. Going home, I

most probably forgot about it, went to chat with my best friends on Facebook, ate real good, played video-games,

collected more money for makeup accessories and then forgot about the test. I mean, my real stability came from

home, my real feelings only bloomed at home. Never at school or any Quality Learing Centre that I was put in.

Also, it was still weird for me that kids just obeyed random adults like their lives depended on someone who's

"paid" to check your supposed intelligence. I had colleagues who cried about getting D's (on the papers) and

that cried once the teachers said they couldn't bring their toys on friday (wich was our toy day) and I always

thought like "why won't you just bring it?" or "are you going to die if you're getting low grades?". It didn't

make sense. At all.

And to this day, I'm not sure if I'm just a closeted anarchist or if I wasn't ever hit with real consequences.

Like, none of the bad things I've done have resulted in any deaths or title-damaging attitudes from bigger and

important people. I don't really know if my teachers knew I wasn't going to listen to them, I don't yet know if

my late teachers gave up on me for not following their rules... But my late school years slipped like soap in

prison. I felt relieved to not hear my teachers complain about my performance every week.

Consequences are only real in the heads of those who invent the rules. I believe most rules are only made to

the masses because almost everyone you see wouldn't smell the real intentions behind what you're telling them,

and that concept only forms after the person sees a threat in front of them. Calling their parents, taking away

a toy, privating the kid from playing with colleagues, and some other bullshit I'm not going to mention because

I'm sleepy. But remember, consequences are not real if you don't play their rules. There's a million rules out

there, why do you think only one is right? Why do you think that someone who screams at you had the last word?

Keep yourself awake and don't abide.

Honestly just do whatever you feel like doing, but be sure to be a master on the subject you're focusing on.