XEROPITTURA

Post-Elitism And Intelligence

Not bragging, but I was diagnosed with 155 IQ Points (or whatever they call it where you live) in one of the

most respected neuroscience clinics in Sao Paulo by the age of 14. I don't mention it in conversations like it

is some sort of accessory I'm supposed to use everywhere, but I rather see is as both interruptive and a burden

I'm doomed to carry everywhere I go. I mean, I'm not going to lie that I might've used my IQ points as like, a

reason to never feel bad about anything, but my intelligence is like heroin, good to make you sleep but bad.

By the age of 5, I already knew how to write a few extensive paraphrases, words a kid my age wouldn't use and

some people's names. Also knew how to start conversations with adults, knew how to impress people, but overall,

I still had a pretty lonesome childhood. I've always been way too ahead of their levels and I couldn't do shit.

One thing about having an overwhelming quantity of anything is how you can manage to use it everyday. If you

cannot remember how many shirts you've got, how many books you've read or what's inside of them, it sort of

indicates that you're carrying more than you should, but that's okay, over consumption of something that makes

your head go silent is acceptable by everyone. But what if, you're obligated to carry everything at once?

I'm going to tell you exactly what happens if you carry way too much information inside of your head. Prepare.

To this day, I still find it difficult to make friends and socialize with unknown people in general. I mean,

I don't really see the point of going places JUST so you could meet someone. For me, people are so uncertain,

unpredictable, well hiden and whatnot, that it makes me devalue everyone I don't fully know by name. Sometimes

I can barely imagine these people going through a hard time and coming off of it as intact as I've been, and

it makes me devalue their choices even more. But even on that, I never see myself as a demi-god, but I rather

see so much defects, so much issues on something/someone that it makes me feel like the best choice is to just

not have that person or object near me. I mean, are you gonna be such an idiot to the extent that you're going

to buy a cheap and problematic laptop just because it's there, and it'll serve you the purpose of almost having

a laptop? If the answer is no, why would you choose to date someone who's present sometimes and making you feel

anxious all the other times of the day? Seems unreasonable, right?

I've had people drifting away from me because of my 5-hour silence, but also had people sticking up with me for

almost 5 years knowing I'd get better from my depressive states. Could you tell wich one of these people I valued

more? Welp, it's none of your business. But the thing is, having a friendship with someone you barely know is

compared to shooting heroin. It does feel good, gives you a stable lifestyle without external values interrupting

your junkie activities, but the chances of it killing you are higher than Snoop Dogg. Wich isn't worth it.

Not to mention that, the biggest problem I have with people is their expectations on me. One of the things I'm

always hearing from people, either from a girl-crush point of view or a smooth-brained critique is that I'm often

thinking way too fast and that it isn't funny how I can resolve problems so fast. Also mentioning how they can't

keep up with any of my old stories, any new thoughts, plans or achievements. I mean, it was kind of my fault I

got myself into one of the most influential aesthetics (annonimously) at the same week I started making gourmet

sweets for a big and famous north-american company that had recently opened a store in Brazil. Lol my bad bruh.

Anywaze, being intelligent IS basically a hydrogen bomb vs a coughing baby if you know how to use it correctly.

I've had many instances in wich I got myself in the most ridiculous positions just by imitating what I perceived

to be a shell. For example, I had people thinking I was north-american for around 10 years (yes, a DECADE) just

because I was using what their favourite influencers were using at the time. Basically doing a full-time cosplay

of Olivia Palermo at the places I used to visit. But if you want me to be honest, at some time it gets so easy

to deceive people and get what you want from them that it gets utterly depressing. Not in a gut wrenching way,

but rather in a "okay what's next" way. I've had around 20 projects around music that I ended up never publishing

anywhere because for me, the style and vibes from it have already faded away. The only few things I'm proud of

nowadays are the friendships I got to keep, the comments from people I once idolized and most of my drawings.

Besides all the burden I get from thinking too fast (like getting headaches when I'm speaking too fast) it's

a really nice life. I've never been too desperate to make it in life nor I had problems with destroying people's

expectations. Most people around me can't figure it out but I'm a highscool drop-out, wich for me hasn't ever

played a huge part in my life. But coming from a family where studying is more than necessary, I don't have to

say to you that it caused a pretty huge fight along my family members when I told them I wasn't going to class

a day more. Like, my mom felt scared, my dad thought he wasted years of his money on a lazy person and most of

the other family members I couldn't give a less of a fuck about were spreading rumors about me dropping out to

stay on facebook posting memes. Yet they were the ones working at 9/6s while I created 3 businesses in a span

of two years, out of nothing. Not to mention the 5 college courses I've completed before my colleagues did.

Also, don't take self-development as just going to the gym, doing skin care, doing buddhist bullshit and all

that. Experience is also important. Way more important than looks. I know for a fact I might not be fully in

touch with how I look on an average day but you're just going to be a beautiful empty shell if you're not doing

something to know the world around you and the people who live in it. Once you do, you're capable of everything.

Creating new technology, manipulating narratives, playing with stereotypes, leading the masses, whatever you

choose to do, never start something if you're not sure that you can fully understand the impact of starting a

project, being private or open to the public. If you chicken out from your own decisions, know you're not worth

of respect. I hope you have learned something from this article. I know it was smaller than the other ones I

posted but really, I didn't have much to say about my big and sexy brane the brian mane.

Manipulate the fucking narratives, claim everything, shut their mouths shut and control everything!